The moment I decided it was time for me to leave the fear of being judged behind me, was the moment I felt free to be who I really was and become who I wanted to be.” – Cindy Smartt
My relationship with myself is one of the things I have always felt proud of. I have always felt great about myself. I don’t remember ever feeling insecure about myself because I’ve always loved who I was.
Sure… sometimes I’d feel a bit uncomfortable about the occasional acne flare up or a bad hair day… but overall I was very self-confident and was never afraid of being who I was even when that meant standing out or even standing alone.
For the past 4 years I have gone through a lot of changes and through some very hard times in my personal life (as did a lot of you) and my relationship with myself was extremely compromised.
For the first time in my life I felt disconnected from myself… like I wasn’t really me. That feeling is terrifying and I hope you never feel that way.
I felt lost, confused and was so unhappy and unsatisfied with almost everything you can possibly imagine about myself… I was extremely scared when I noticed myself dissociating because it was like I was losing ME and I felt helpless.
When I realized I was going down a dark and dangerous path towards self hatred and self harm… I knew I needed to make some dramatic changes in my life.
I do not want to go into what caused me to go down that path… it’s sufficient for now that you and I focus on what I’ve been doing to get to a better place.
The most important thing was to seek help from my loved ones and have people I could trust by my side so that I felt safe and comfortable to open up and share what was going on.
I didn’t want to keep fighting this alone and I knew that on my own I was more likely to fail.
That process also included talking to a therapist as part of my steps towards healing my relationship with myself.
That is what started my journey towards becoming my best self.
I’m not the girl I once was but she is still here and I want to help that girl become the woman she always dreamed to be.
So welcome aboard!
Fasten your seatbelts and prepare for the ride!
I want this to be a safe place where I can express all the parts of me I am striving to embrace and love once again.
If that resonates with you, please let me know in the comments below and let’s stay in touch.
With love,
Cindy Smartt
[ That Smartt Girl ]